well, 

i guess this is the place where I pour out my soul, or at least talk about my day.

today was Eden's first birthday  - but she didnt know it.   It wasn't a suprise party or anything like that, she just didnt know. 

but thats ok.

She will be my intention when I get up to the child who doesn't even know how to ask.

I've been thinking about the future, and its all pretty hazy.  I mean its unclear - like i dont know whats going to happen.  and the more and more that i feel this way, the more certain I am that i am no the one in control, I'm just going along for the ride.  And its nice that way, sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window from our porch overlooking Gilo and Malcha and the mountains south of Jerusalem.  

and I know that if i really need to, I can ask to pull over for a pit stop and to stretch my legs.