Holiness = קדושה

Shavua tov.
About an hour and a half ago I said havdalla, marking the transition from the Holy to the Mundane, from the special to the regular.  Over the course of Shabbat, I was wondering 'what is this holiness, this kedusha, that is supposedly surrounding me?'. How might I connect to it, be a part of it?  Or inversly, how could I be surrounded by holiness and not feel it?  Was I doing something wrong? Was I not properly prepared?

Holiness is separation
Hoiness is intentional
Holiness exists
Holiness is scary Awe-some
holiness is created
holiness is spacial
Fow ti:  Holiness is being aware of being in the right place at the right time one moment before it happens.

Torah on an iPad

For one thing, it would be much easier to do hagba on an iPad than on a sefer torah.  

Many people have expressed discomfort with the idea of using technology in order to learn Torah, and I really don't see what all the fuss is about.  The more access people have to Torah, the better - assuming that they know how to learn and integrate what they learn into their life. 

There is a nostalgia to the old way of learning - with a book.  There is a comforting feel to a page of gemara, or an old book with yellowed pages.  If this enhances your personal learning, then use it.  Other people may be turned off by an old smelly book with hard to read print.  Let them learn from what attracts them.  The content is the same, and "great is Torah learning that leads to action".  

Shabbat is another incredibly important part of this conversation.  This is the day when we have the most free time, and when many people especially encourage Torah study.  Traditional observance of Shabbat prohibits use of electricity, which would make it impossible to learn Torah from an iPad.  Books allow you to read as long as there is light.  But most places we learn (schools and batei midrash) will have electricity and if so, I see no issue using one over the other.

This week was the week of Joyceee
It was also the week of Majesty
I barbequed, I went to different natural springs, and I danced!
I was at a baby naming :)  and now we will always be reminded how much of a Blessing Jerusalem is!

We are approaching Shavuot where we receive the Torah anew. We get to relive that experience.  The three days beforehand are reserved for preparations - spiritually and physcially.  The supermarkets bring in an extra portable refridgerator stocked with cheeses and other dairy products.  Teachers and friends are preparing teachings to share, and people go to dip in the mikvah.
I remember two ideas that I read in the Eish Kodesh about Shavuot.  These ideas make G!D seem like he operates under the same rules that we humans do.  Perhaps.
The first is related to the fact that upon receiving the Torah we saw the sounds.  He explains that whenever a teacher teaches he is also learning as well.  We know (in our human way) that one is expected to preserve the distinction between the Oral Torah and the Written Torah by not to reciting words of the written Torah by heart.  In the description of the event of Sinai, even G!D was learning the Torah, so when G!D spoke the words of the Torah to us, G!D also 'read' the words to us.  We saw the written words!  We were able to see the sounds!  And so, if G!D was learning while he was teaching us the Torah, then we too are always learning even while we may be teaching.
And this is a blessing!
The second idea is related to revelation. Every time I truly speak I reveal part of my soul. Therefore - whenever one captures the words spoken - on paper or in a recording - only part of the experience has been captured. During the revelation at Har Sinai G!D truly spoke to us, and our souls were forever marked.  This is exactly what happens every year on Shavuot - we don't only remember what happened, rather we relive what happened, and our souls are also marked by the word of G!D. This can even happen every day to anyone who opens himself to an O[o]ther with true speach.


When you devote your entire being to God,
    even your words themselves become God's
                SO SPEAK!
                            - Fow Ti

The Fow Ti had an special practice.  Every morning he would go out to a near by lake, and sit down with his feet in the water.  In the winter the water would be cold, but still, he would stick his feet in the water.  He would sit this way for some time before getting up and walking back to begin the rest of his day.
He said that his feet were like fish, they needed to breathe in the water.
He said that when one allows his feet to immerse themselves in water every day such a person will grow up thirsty for knowledge.
He said that one who wears shoes all day and do not let one's feet breathe will never be thirsty, and will never drink.

I wonder sometimes.

When I stand to pray my feet are united into one foot - like the angels.  My feet are rooted in the ground, and even when I get lost in prayer my feet are always there to guide me back to where I am standing.  I find this spiritual practice to be very helpful.  It expands me.  I can, at a single moment be in more than one place.  My feet are on the ground as my head soars above - out of this world.  And into places unknown.  Or places known.

My feet are wet.

I am excited to return to a normal schedule of life.  I have made much progress over the last half year.
I left Rosh Hashana with a strong desire to change what I was doing - and so it happened: we moved, I quit my job, and started learning at Pardes.  Now I have just gone through the funnels of freedom and I come out happily ready to continue my life where it was.  I am truly free.
There is still much unknown, much to be decided for the future and so much more to grow, but I feel that I am on the right track.
Sometimes this can lead to a wonderful tumbling of ideas and prospects of what might happen if ... and then I just get overwhelmed
It's nice that I have a good place to come back to - so that I can go tumbling again.

Today is Hod of Hesed - Splendor of Kindness
How quickly we arrive at the last day of Pesach!
Yet here we are - ready for the sea to split and we'll walk right through.  and how lucky we are that every year at just this time the sea splits for us, wherever we are.  We can find the secret escape route, we find the solution to a problem that has been disturbing us for a while.  We find the way out of our feelings of scarcity and hardship and realize that right here and right now we can feel plentiful and calm.  The very particles of air split apart , allowing us a safe passage between them as we walk through.
When the sea splits it will be because of th Foundation of Kindness.  Now all that is left is for us to keep on walking.  For 49 days.  And then keep on walking again.
If we can internalize this day then we can recall it whenever we like.

Hag Sameach

Our Passover Seder was a night of Freedom and Singing.  It reinforced my awareness of the constant presence of The Holy Blessed One.
The next day we went up north, along with so many other people looking for a nice few days of vacation.  And we found just that at a little desert spring Ein Succot - where we took our first dip.  It was really nice to jump in the cool water and dry off in the sun eating matza brai and coffee.  This was Eden's first time at any body of water bigger than our bathtub.  She was a little shocked and scared, but after a few minutes of sitting in the mud on the edge of the water she was having a great time; still not ready to get in, but then again she's only 1.
Just like in the song from Beauty and the Beast "We don't like what we don't understand, infact it scares us"

At a beach on the Sea of Galilee a group of high schooler's brought a huge speaker and started blasting music.  We left immediately.

It was too much for me - too much traffic, too much pushing, too crowded.

I look for calm surroundings.  At work, at home, on the road, as well as with friends - internally as well.

I want this to be my Freedom.

"You are always free unless you are captured" - Fow Ti